


Youth

by sugarblossom



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:46:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23567806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarblossom/pseuds/sugarblossom
Summary: Because Ash and Alain need to talk it out for once!
Relationships: Alan | Alain & Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Satoshi | Ash Ketchum & Satoshi no Pikachu | Ash Ketchum's Pikachu
Comments: 24
Kudos: 165





	Youth

“Are you kidding, of course I can fit at least ten large marshmallows in my mouth!” Ash exclaimed, walking backward across the beach and dangling his school bag in one hand. “I bet I can fit even more than that!” Pikachu pumped his fists up and down in challenge.

“You’re on!” Lana exclaimed back. The rest of their classmates sweatdropped.

Pikachu’s ears twitched, perking up.

“Ash?”

Ash froze, whipping around, grin frozen in place. “Alain! I did not expect to see you here!” After a moment of silence, Ash turned back to his classmates. “I’ll see you guys next Monday!” Pikachu stared back at Alain, eyes blank.

“Nuh-uh, we’re seeing just how many marshmallows you can fit in your mouth tomorrow, remember?”

Ash burst out laughing, causing Alain to stare at him. Pikachu’s ears straightened, tilted to the side. “Of course Lana, now shoo, you all,” he joked, scooting everyone away. After waving everyone goodbye, Ash sported a serious face. “What is wrong, Alain?” Pikachu peeked back at Ash, paws clutching Ash’s shirt tighter.

“...Huh? No, nothing’s wrong!”

Shoulders relaxing, Ash stoically asked, “So what are you doing here? Do you need my help?” Pikachu’s ears wilted, patting Ash’s head. Ash’s expression doesn’t change.

“I’m just here on vacation, Ash,” Alain said, shaking his head. “I appreciate it though.”

Ash glanced around Alain, as if he was scrutinizing for problems he could solve. Pikachu’s tail patted Ash’s back. “Where’s Mairin?” Thump. Thump. Thump.

“Oh, she’s still back in Kalos. This is my vacation after all.” Alain tilted his head when Pikachu scowled at the sky.

“I understand.” Ash pursed his lips. Pikachu chirped, patting Ash’s cheeks. Alain said nothing as Ash’s eyes turned hard. “I never want to go back.”

“Of course,” Alain murmured, eyes scanning over the picturesque beach. “...I’m so sorry.”

Ash laughed, the sound hollow. Pikachu pressed his cheek against Ash’s. “For what? It’s not like the past matters.” Alain furrowed his eyebrows, and Ash forced himself to relax. “I really don’t hold it against you, Alain. Honest.”

“But you have to be mad at me!” Alain burst. Ash’s smile turned sorrowful as Alain ran a hand through his hair, peeking back at him. “You trusted me, and I betrayed you.” Pikachu only glanced off.

“And what did I say in response?” Ash pointed to Alain, face serious. “I trust the Alain I know.” He then gestured over the beach. “There’s no point in looking down and feeling bad about the past. You can’t change it after all.”

“But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter!” Pikachu perked up, eyes curious.

Scratching Pikachu’s ears, Ash shrugged. “I blame Lysandre, not you.” He rolled his wrist. “He was the one who ordered you to collect all that energy.  _ He _ was the one who took advantage of your love for Mairin and Chespie.  _ He _ was the one who carried everything out-”

“But that’s still my fault.” Ash frowned. But before he could get a word out, Alain continued, “Sure, I can’t change the past, but it matters to me.” Alain gulped, licking his bottom lip. “I was a bystander. I helped contribute to your suffering.” He stared Ash in the eye. “I hurt you. And you  _ can’t  _ deny that.” Ash stoically watched Alain’s hands reach towards him before lowering once more. “Why  _ aren’t  _ you angry at me?”

“I don’t get mad.” Ash grinned, ignoring Pikachu’s sad squeak. “That’s immature! That’s…  _ not  _ me,” he bit out. “I don’t get angry or upset with my friends.”

“I’m… uh, I’m honored, but…” Alain trailed off, tilting his head. “You have a perfectly valid reason to be angry and upset.” 

Ash froze.

“I don’t need to be that way,” he announced. Pikachu facepalmed. “Serena threw snowballs at me because I was upset and not ‘acting like the Ash she knew.’ Ironically.” Ash gave a small laugh, rubbing his cheek with a grimace. “So I didn’t tell them. But don’t worry-”

“You  _ didn’t _ ?!”

Pikachu shook his head while Ash shrugged. “There’s a reason why they didn’t search for me when… you know. They shouldn’t worry anyways. They don’t need to see me upset.”

“But you’re allowed to be upset! You can’t just be optimistic all the time!” Alain said, lip trembling when Ash simply grinned at him. “No no no, Ash, this isn’t right. What can I do to help?”

“I don’t need help.” Pikachu pressed his paw against the grin Ash plastered on his face, hissing. “I’m supposed to help everyone else.” Ash’s grin wavered. “That’s what a hero does, right? Make everything alright? Stand strong for everyone else?” Ash rocked back and forth on the sand, shoulders stiff. “Because why would a hero need help?” Pikachu chirped, slapping Ash’s cheek without any force behind it.

“...There is  _ no _ way you handled all that…  _ that _ so well!” Alain gritted his teeth, clenching his fists. “Why didn’t I talk to you sooner?” he hissed to himself. Pikachu deadpanned at him as if asking the same thing.

“What? I’m totally alright now!” 

‘“Now’?” Alain raised an eyebrow when Pikachu wildly gestured to his trainer, thrilling. 

“Come on, I love this world! I’m proud to defend it!” Ash’s face turned serious once more, and Alain flinched. “I am fine. It’s not like I stopped battling in leagues-” Ash cut himself off, eyes wide. Pikachu climbed onto Ash’s head, gently curling his tail in front of Ash’s neck.

“You are  _ not  _ fine. And you  _ won’t  _ be fine if you don’t tell anyone else what you went through.” Ash scowled. Alain placed a hand on Ash’s shoulder, shaking his head. “Stop. I saw how relaxed and goofy you were with your friends back there.” His hands trembled. Ash couldn’t meet Alain’s eyes. “You were so serious in Kalos, but now? You-”

“I don’t know who I am either!” Ash cheerfully said. Pikachu patted Ash’s cap, chirping. “Maybe Alola made me soft.” He raised his fists, eyes serious. “I have to-”

“Put on a facade?” Pikachu’s ears perked up. Alain stared down at the sand, whispering, “I should have known. You weren’t your best during our league battle either, right?”

“‘Should have known’?” Ash echoed with a chuckle. “No one else even batted an eye on how I was doing. How is the Crisis different?” Pikachu met Alain’s eyes, nuzzling Ash’s head before hopping onto the sand. Alain placed both of his hands on Ash’s shoulders, freezing when Ash shivered under his grip. “This world is amazing. I’m so grateful I’m alive.”

“The world almost ended at the Crisis.” Pikachu’s ears wilted.

Ash burst out laughing. “Like  _ that _ is  _ unusual _ ?” Alain furrowed his eyebrows when Ash grinned at him. “The world almost ends on a daily basis. And who was there to pick up the pieces and be the hero? Who  _ had _ to put up a strong face? Who  _ had _ to  _ keep  _ working and battling and moving on?” Ash pointed to himself. “The world needs me. I can’t just  _ abandon  _ it. But imagine it, what if I wasn’t the supposed ‘Chosen One’? What if-” Ash was cut off when Pikachu flicked sand at him.

Alain tightened his grip. “The world does need you. Lots of people would miss you!”

“They miss the hero me. But hey,” Ash said with a shrug, “Whatever suits them best.” Pikachu hissed, circling around Ash and plopping down next to him.

“...Is this why you jumped off Prism Tower after Pikachu?” Pikachu froze.

Ash’s eyes flickered guilt. “No! I love Pikachu so much, I couldn’t just not…” Alain’s eyes widened as Ash shook his head, taking a sharp breath. “But I’m not the hero you all know me as. I’ve been trying to live up to the role model and inspiration you all deserve, but I’m not a hero. But I have to! But I’m not! But I’m supposed to!” Ash’s eyes flitted back and forth. Pikachu patted Ash’s shoe, cooing up at him. “You of all people should know that, Alain.”

“Are you kidding- I’m not the person you know me as, but you  _ still  _ believed in me. You still supported me. So I’m going to do the same.” Ash peeked up at Alain, fidgeting with the strap of his schoolbag. “You’re human. You’re just as affected by the Crisis as the rest of us. And I’m sorry no one checked on you afterward.” Alain teared up. “No one deserves that.  _ Definitely  _ not you.” 

“But I didn’t… It was really nothing-” Groaning, Pikachu yelled up at Ash as if he couldn’t believe how dumb his trainer was being.

“You were tortured.” Ash flinched. “You were almost mind-controlled.” Ash rolled Alain’s hands off his shoulder, stepping back. Pikachu’s eyes narrowed, trotting next to Ash.

“It didn’t hurt that much.”

Alain stared at Ash, voice soft. “How badly were you hurt?”

Ash grinned. “Doesn’t matter!” Pikachu sighed, leaning against Ash’s leg. “I don’t have the time to stop and worry about my own problems. ‘The normal person takes a day or more to get well.’ That’s what Clemont said. He wasn’t surprised I recovered so fast, so how could I tell them I’m  _ still _ hurting over this?” Alain slightly shook his head in disbelief as Ash dragged his foot across the sand. “I almost can’t keep up sometimes. It never ends, you know?” Alain numbly stared down at Pikachu when he pressed his face against Ash’s calf, eyes shut. “Kanto, Orange Islands, Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh was a  _ doozy _ , Unova was supposed to be a break, and it was! Don’t get me wrong! But hey, the world still ends wherever I go!”

“Ash…”

“Then Kalos! I haven’t been myself for the entirety of Kalos, but meh, I’m supposed to be strong, no one needs to care and worry-” Pikachu clung to Ash’s legs, staring up at Ash with a sharp denial.

“No!” Alain rubbed the nape of his neck. “I care, Ash. And I’m worried about you alright.”

Ash’s fake grin drooped. “No, don’t do this to me…” Pikachu stared down, dragging his tail across the sand in frustration.

Alain reached out a hand before dropping it once more. “I’m sure lots of people care for your well being.” Ash rubbed his arm, biting his lower lip.

“I’m sure Lance cares whether I’m around to save the world. Same goes for Steven, actually! How is he doing these days anyways?” Sighing, Pikachu’s ears twitched. 

“Don’t change the subject on me, Ash.”

“I haven’t actually seen Lance since Kyogre and Groudon. Wonder how  _ he’s  _ doing these days?”

“...Wait, Champion Lance? And-” Alain flinched. “You met Kyogre and Groudon too?” Pikachu stared up at him, eyes wide.

“Yeah, evil organizations angered them. Legendaries don’t like it when their territory or ancient artifacts are tampered with,” Ash wisely said, like he experienced it on a day to day basis. Pikachu stepped back, tilting his head at Alain. “Strange how Rayquaza didn’t come by.” He glanced towards the sky. “Same goes for Steven! It was  _ his _ region, after all!”

“You’re… you were... The Hoenn Crisis?” It wasn’t a question. “How…” Alain gulped, taking a sharp breath. “And you’re so young too…”

“Ah yeah, I’m just a little kid,” Ash mocked. Pikachu winced, curling on the sand. “I keep trying and trying, like seriously, how many times do I have to die or get killed before-”

Silence.

“...Look, I’m not a hero.” Ash’s quivering voice tugged at their hearts. “I just want to travel. I just want to make friends.” Alain had to strain to hear Ash’s next words. “I’m not as strong as you all think.” Pikachu stood up, meeting Ash’s eyes with determined ones.

“You don’t have to live up to be a hero. You already are.” Alain reached forward and brushed Ash’s hair away from his eyes. “And you’re strong alright. But you don’t have to be, not in this way. It’s alright to ask for help-”

Ash desperately wiped at his eyes, voice cracking. “No, I’m not strong  _ enough _ !  _ I’m _ not enough!”

“You’re strong enough to survive. And I’m proud of you.” Ash stared down at Pikachu once more, tears welling up when Pikachu smiled at him. “I might not be able to help you heal, but… come here, Ash.” 

Ash stared up at Alain. He set his schoolbag down. His cap goes flying.

Ash tackled Alain in a hug, tears scattered across his face like feathers in the wind.

Alain slung his arms over Ash’s shoulder, using one hand to ruffle Ash’s hair. Pikachu sat next to Ash’s bag, sighing deeply.

“We’ll be alright. I’ve got you.”

“...I forgive you. Even for the league win.” Pikachu rolled his eyes but grinned up at them.

Alain couldn’t help but laugh, his chest rumbling against Ash’s cheek. “After you go get help, I promise we’ll have a rematch. Unless… you’re too-”

Ash stared up at him, eyes alit with fire. “I don’t give up, and I never will.” Pikachu squeaked in agreement, dragging Ash’s bag next to them.

“Good!”

Ash blinked, a genuine smile spreading across his face as he stepped back. “Oh, you  _ better  _ be prepared. My Charizard is  _ so  _ ready to defeat yours!” Pikachu and Alain exchanged amused glances when Ash traced his Z-ring with a mischievous smirk. “Hey, wanna meet the rest of my pokemon?” Ash suddenly asked, smile growing into a grin. He hoisted his bag up, patting Pikachu’s head when he hopped back onto his shoulder. “They’re all pretty amazing, you know!” Pikachu puckered up his face, causing Ash to laugh.

“Always.” Alain watched Ash take off, the sand dancing around him. “That’s the Ash I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Idea from Petrolhead1, and inspiration from the ao3 gang discord chat! Love you guys <3  
> While the title does regard Ash being a youth and his childhood/past, it’s also inspired by the song Youth by Daughter.
> 
> Hey, I know times are hard for you guys, and I can’t emphasize this enough: I’m SO proud of you all for staying alive. Keep hanging on! I don’t know when things might get better, but I’ll be here to support you all until then. Hugs to whoever needs/wants one! <3


End file.
